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Marriage Intensive2019-01-14T22:27:25+00:00

Marriage Intensive

Are You Struggling in Your Marriage?

Do you feel lonely in your relationship? Are you spending too much energy arguing or trying to avoid conflicts? Do you wish for a way to rebuild trust and intimacy?

Most couples experience distress at some point in their marriage. Some struggle to be heard and understood and get stuck in negative communication patterns. Others experience a relationship crisis after infidelity, and many experience chronic disconnection in today’s stressful, technologically-focused world. These problems are common and can be fixed.

Your relationship with your partner or spouse is one of the most important relationships you have and its success or distress highly affects your personal wellbeing. When you are securely connected and know your partner has your back, you can feel stronger, happier, relaxed, and indestructible.

And, when you struggle to reach your partner or live in fear of the next argument, you can feel incredibly stressed, lonely, and unhappy. If you are increasingly experiencing negative patterns in which you are disconnecting instead of connecting, it can make you question whether you should give up on your marriage.

You don’t have to give up.

In fact, you don’t need months of therapy to work this out. I offer private, marathon marriage counseling sessions for the two of you to get the skilled help and tools that you’re missing to connect, be understood, and rebuild trust and intimacy. I can help you apply the science of love to your relationship so that you can have a fulfilling, secure, and intimate relationship.

Would you like help right now? Do you want to gain the tools and awareness needed for saving your marriage, without having to make time in your hectic schedule for weekly visits?

Intensive Marital Therapy Can Repair Your Marriage

By setting aside three to four days to focus on your relationship we can get to the heart of your relationship challenges and work on healing the core issues in your marriage. On your brief, relaxing getaway, you can step out of your daily life stresses and into an environment that promotes relaxation and connection to make positive gains and significant progress.

The retreat setting, coupled with my clinical success in combining the very best of Gottman Method Couples Therapy and Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) to help couples strengthen and secure their bond, creates a powerful healing experience. Once you understand the nature of your struggles and have the tools to overcome conflict and build connection, you can be better equipped to reproduce your success outside of my office. After your marathon session is finished there are a variety of ways to receive follow up support.

Common Problems Addressed in Intensive Marriage Therapy

  • Communication
  • Rebuilding trust after infidelity, betrayal, or addictions
  • Emotional and sexual intimacy
  • Chronic disconnection
  • Managing stress and work-life balance
  • Divisions about major decisions

A Welcome Alternative to 50-minute Sessions

While working intensively may not be appropriate for every couple, there are benefits to my intensive format:

  • Easier to take three to four days completely off work than leave work for an hour each week
  • May be scheduled during the week and over the weekend
  • Couples who are in crisis may stabilize and recover more quickly
  • More efficient for making immediate progress  
  • Allows you to schedule follow-up support as needed

What Will Your Retreat Look Like?

Sessions are held on beautiful Lopez Island in the San Juan Islands, about 80 miles north of Seattle, Washington. My intensives are scheduled for three to four days and include 15-20 hours of focused, professional guidance to help you make progress right away.

The retreat experience includes:

  • A free phone consultation prior to the retreat
  • Couple sessions
  • Individual sessions
  • Experiential learning, awareness, and growth
  • Take home tools and guides
  • Breaks and time off together
  • A detailed written summary of your session, including recommendations and tips for staying on track
  • Plan for ongoing maintenance and support

My focus is on helping couples feel safe and supported in their goals, individually and in their relationship. I draw from over a decade of clinical experience working with hundreds of individuals and couples as well as my extensive training and success using Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT),  Gottman Method Couples Therapy, and Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS).

I will help you build common ground by guiding you in sharing your experiences in ways that pull for your partner’s understanding and connection. I will also give you the tools to stop your negative patterns at home and create a culture of emotional safety and connection in your marriage.

Although I tailor each couple’s treatment plan according to my clients’ unique situation, the power and success of our time together also depends on your willingness to be honest, open-minded, and put new tools into practice.

What Are My Options for Follow-up?

I place a high priority on making sure that you have the proper support to maintain and continue your growth after your retreat is over. I recommend that all couples schedule a 1-hour check-in via Zoom for two weeks after the intensive. In your check-in we will address your successes and concerns that come up after returning home and I will give you feedback to stay on a positive track.

From there, we will decide on the best plan for moving forward. Our plan may include:

  • Periodic Zoom sessions (usually every two weeks or once per month)
  • A follow-up mini intensive in the future, usually 3–6 months later
  • A referral to a local therapist, in which I will support you in communicating with that therapist for a smooth transition
  • A combination of any of the above

Rates

3-Day Intensive (Monday through Wednesday)

  • Free 30 minute pre-session phone call
  • 15-17 hours of marriage counseling
  • A customized summary of the session
  • Take home tools

Cost = $3,000

3-Day Intensive, Weekend Session (Saturday through Monday)

  • Free 30 minute pre-session phone call
  • 15-17 hours of marriage counseling
  • A customized summary of the session
  • Take home tools

Cost = $3,400

Lodging, food, and travel are not included in the rate.

Is It Worth It?

We invest time, energy, and resources in the things that are most important to us. Many people invest years of their lives in school and training to ensure security and success in their careers and financial future. Your marriage and family are the most important assets you have.

Research shows that people who feel securely connected to their partners are:

  • Healthier
  • Happier
  • Have more frequent and satisfying sex
  • Are less “needy”
  • Parent more as a team
  • Find more fulfillment in life
  • Are more successful and happier at work
  • Manage pain, disappointment, and fear better

You may still have concerns about marriage intensive couples therapy…

We’ve been struggling for so long, why try?

Many couples have tried on their own, and many more have tried self-help books, individual and couples therapy, and are still in distress. It’s understandable that you may be tired, skeptical, and unhappy. However, because I offer a unique format, highly skillful and scientifically-based interventions, and create a safe environment for couples to open up and address difficult experiences, I have had success helping couples when other attempts haven’t worked.

If you haven’t given up and want to try one more time, this is the way to see what bond is there between you and what hope exists to build upon. While it’s not possible to flip a switch in three days, my retreat can many times buoy a sinking marriage. With ongoing effort and support, it is possible to find happiness and intimacy again.

A marriage intensive sounds…really intense!

It’s normal for couples to feel nervous when starting the intensive. While understandable, I find that most couples shed any nervousness and apprehension within the first few minutes of our meeting. I am proud when I routinely hear couples tell me that I help them feel comfortable and safe to open up and take risks. I deeply respect the courage that my clients summon to take such an important step to heal their relationship.

Because a marriage intensive does require emotional energy, I stay attuned to each person’s needs for breaks and downtime to decompress and not become over-saturated. At any time if you wish to slow the pace or take a timeout, that is absolutely your right. Your relationship is my client, and I will be here for you in whatever way helps you best.

Won’t this be expensive?

Consider this: How much is a lifetime of emotional security worth to you? What value do you place on your marriage? Learning how to save a failing relationship by preserving and strengthening the bond you have is an investment that can produce dividends for years and years to come. By investing in a couples retreat, you have the potential to improve your partner’s happiness, your family’s cohesion, and your own emotional wellbeing.

Why marathon or intensive marriage therapy and not just couples therapy?

Traditional therapy sessions typically run 50 minutes, which really doesn’t give anyone much time for deep exploration. It also creates the hassle of having to repeatedly free up your schedule or hire a babysitter.

My approach to couples counseling is a more efficient way of tackling large problems that need immediate solutions. By focusing all of your attention on the problem at hand in an environment free of distractions, you are ensuring that all of your energy is focused on creating true, sustainable change.

Intensive Marriage Therapy Can Give You Hope Now

If you are concerned for the wellbeing of your relationship, I can help. I invite you to call 360-878-5693 or contact me to set up a free, 15-minute phone consultation to see if my intensive retreat is right for you.